Snakes on A Plane is a bad date movie

The title of this is may seem like an obvious statement, but equally so is "Don't come on too strong or you'll blow it", and still the latter is a mistake much more commonly made by tons of guys. Unfortunately, a lot of times we are even aware that we are coming on too strong as we are doing it and still cannot help ourselves, and that is primarily due to an overwhelming fear men have of the dreaded "friend-zone". Now the "platonic friend/gay buddy/friend zone" is a topic in and of itself that I'm not going to delve into presently, however I would be remiss if I didn't make note that it is the opposite side of the coin to the "overzealous come on" Regrettably, there is no 'better to err on the side of caution' with women, an err is just the same either way, and when faced with being treated like the sexual equivalent of a piece of furniture while listening to a girl they adore wax on about some douchebag who doesn't like them, a fair amount of men will opt to go out in an embarrassingly premature display of unrequited affection.

There's many types of "Too much too soon" but the basics are generally as follows:

1. The Ted Mosby from HIMYM- Overly grande and romantic displays; no matter how sincere you may be, this approach projects melodrama and desperation in equally frightening amounts.

2. The JD from Scrubs- Regardless of your lack of confidence or finesse you blurt out an affectionate soliloquy riddled with introspective depth. Ugh, this just drips with neurotic self doubt and insecurity; there's nothing gained from sympathy searching and no self respecting woman would pridefully shag someone out of pity.

3. The Zach Morris from SBTB- The "I'm not pretending, I'm actually this cocky". Believe it or not it's just as likely to get you laughed at as it is to get you tongued down; as with most cocky approaches it's a game of numbers so to up the odds you'd need a lot of time, effort, and of course morale.

4. The Leonard from BBT- With such rampant fear of ever stepping up to the plate make it painfully obvious how into her you are not with words but with doglike devotion and constant undivided attention, and hopefully through some sort of emotional osmosis she'll start to reciprocate feelings for you. This is by far the most pathetic because it is entirely passive aggressive, and makes up for the fact that there is no direct verbal approach through good old fashioned smothering and over thinking.

I agree with the belief that most first dates/interactions with someone you like are very much like a job interview; namely in that you are selling yourself. Herein lies a lot of the issues with coming on too strong, you're a salesman who has no faith in his own product. It isn't some kind of blind confidence that wins women over, but the simple fact that if she does actually see something in you, it doesn't really matter how you drive the message home because she wants it to go there already. The problem is that most of the time we guys are driving real fast but zig-zagging all over the road in some kind of horrible display of romantic faux confidence.

There's no real recipe for swagger, and I'm not here to preach some kind of motivational "be yourself!" guide. What I will say is that a lot of the time we focus and even obsess over just liking the girl, and that leads to poor decisions and pathetic displays like phoning 3-5 times a day when she hasn't called back or making really fancy reservations to try to impress. Instead we should focus equally as hard on deserving the girl, an equal amount of pride should balance out the approach and determine what you deem as a respectable man to be "going too far out of your way to get something you feel you deserve". I don't mean this in a chauvinistic way; you're not in any way entitled to any woman; to put it into perspective, however, if you don't believe you're good enough for her then you're not going to act like it. Furthermore if you're still pursuing her with that mindset, you're just pestering her while hoping she believes in you enough for both of you.




And as always, I drew some shit-